I know your pain it's horrible, but what I do is there's these things that go around your ankles that are gel. I would go to your local tack store or smartpak/Dover and see if they have them. Sorry I don't remember the name of them.
Oil the inside of them, and then move them all around so the leather softens up. Another trick is to fill the bathtub with water to about your ankles. Then put your boots on and step in the water. And once again move your feet around. This sounds like a really weird thing to do, but it helped soften my boots up a lot!