Don't beat yourself up it takes time to develop news skills and to get comfortable with shoe jumping. If you want i wound take down all the jumps in the arena to justa pole on the ground a do your course and ride like u we're actually jumping the jump but instead of worrying about the jump there's just a pole there so focus on ur approach, corners, and landing! Just think to yourself jumping is all flatwork with poles in between, do your flatwork in between jumps! hope that helps!!
Don't ever compare yourself to another rider! There's so many different riding styles, horses and people out there in the horse world, a professional rider may make a horse look like a dream to ride but you never know they may argue all te time when training. Spend time with your horse as much as you can, set yourself small goals every time you ride, watch videos of professional riders, read books on showjumping techniques and practice! Simple as that and before but you know it you will develop a better connection to your horse, a better riding position and you will enjoy it. If you don't enjoy it, don't do it, try another discipline or different style eg 6 bar comps rather than straight showjumping or hunter classes or eventing. There's somethingn out there for all riders and horses
Don't be so harsh on yourself. They are completely different styles and you just have to have patience and adjust to your new discipline. Think positive when you ride and don't take it out on the horse if you get frustrated, as it only makes things worse. Take some lessons and you'll see the progress of bondage and trust with your horse as well as improvement. Good luck :)