There is an old saying that says a jump is only as good coming out of it as you go into it. My biggest tip to get that soft feel for the eq and hunters is to focus heavily on working into a slow, rhythmical canter before the jump. Sit deep into your seat, lighten your hands and open up you hip angles. Soften your riding and don't let him rush.
As you go over the jump stay soft in your hands, don't throw your self over the neck but move with the shape of your horses jump.
On your landing keep everything the same: soft hands, even canter etc.