How do you over come being self conscious because you may not have enough money for all the top riding things ?

Don't ever think that way!!! The only thing you must be concerned about is the state of your things - keep them clean and supple!!
Watch YouTube's who do it (jeteventing, Mariana Avalon, and Isa from Equestrian Prep)
No one cares if you can't afford it. All riders care about is the shared love of horses !!! And if someone does care then they arnt someone u should hang around !
I like to think about how much fun it is and how having the best things doesn't really make me a better rider. It might help me but what makes me a good rider is me, myself, my horse, and I