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How do you manage to deal with the negative emotions such as stress, pressure, frustration or fear when you are around horses ?

How do you manage to deal with the negative emotions such as stress, pressure, frustration or fear when you are around horses ?
I struggle with severe stress levels, anxiety, and depression and horses and horses make me feel so much better when I’m around them. There is also a downside to them. When I come home from the barn I feel horrible, like I’ll never be as good as the other girls at my barn and I don’t quite understand the whole showing business and neither does my family so that makes me feel worse, like I’m not even an equestrian. I just have to remember that I am as good as the others and to go at my own pace.
i remember to breath. it sounds stupid, but it helps. deep breaths and music. whenever im panicking, i count. that also helps